so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
