i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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