im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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