Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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