Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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