do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
