4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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