So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
