This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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