so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
