I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
