Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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