What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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