I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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