you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
