They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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