i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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