I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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