The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
