Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So much rum. So many feels.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
