Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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