did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
