The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
