did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize