was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He felt like a one man threesome
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
