i need an iv and a liver transplant
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize