You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this