Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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