Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
