Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
