I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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