so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
