READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
