Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
