Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your cock deserves a montage
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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