Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
