omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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