Where are you?
In a non slutty way
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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