Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
