How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
