Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
