Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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