Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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