where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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