its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
