Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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