ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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