doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
