Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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