My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
