I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize