Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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