Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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