I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
