Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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