"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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