All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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