is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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