Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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