if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
