Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
