just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
