and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
