ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
