Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
