i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
