terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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