my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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