Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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