My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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