No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i came on her dog
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
