found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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