We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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