we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
