Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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